Find the right way to overcome fear of falling in love with someone. These tips will help you identify the reason and thus treat your love phobia.
The fear of falling in love is common whether it’s past experiences, things that happened to you, or because you do not want to risk yourself for personal reasons. Fear is something you always feel, as you peer into an abyss of possibilities. If you want to have that guy or girl in your life and want to overcome fear of falling in love then here are the tips you should follow.
Think about your current situation
Analyze why you are afraid. There are people who come from a family where relationships are harmful, and they do not want to fall into that. Or they have recently left a relationship and do not want another. There is also a possibility that they have never had any relationship and just fear because they his/her friends share their negative experience. Remove the motives and analyze the cause of this fear. Once you get to the root of this problem you will be able to overcome fear of falling in love quickly.
Check your self-esteem
There are people who do not think they are worthy of love. There are others who love each other a lot, but they know that the preference of X person does not match their own (no, homo / hetero / asexual), or that falling in love would bring a general debacle. Lack of confidence to handle relationships is also a major reason why many prefer to not fall in love.
Ask yourself if you want to take the risk
Fear comes from many factors, one of which is ignorance and another is knowing well what awaits you. So to overcome fear of falling in love, you need to think about the happiness you will get living with him/her. If someone has told you the difficulties people have in relationships then it’s true, but partners usually find a way out to handle problems. If you have had a bad experience in the past then remember that not all people are same. Thinking positive will help to get rid of the fear of love and bring happiness to your life.
Imagine yourself single in next ten years
Would you regret not having fallen in love or being alone? Do you see yourself as the fantasy of the single woman surrounded by cats, or ditto male, furious and disgusting? Is there anything you want more than love? Valid answers include career, work, travel, independence, autonomy, follow a lifestyle you like which are healthy, etc. If you think that falling in love will not help to achieve your goals then there lies a decision to be made. Whether love or dreams or is there a way where you can balance both. If you really love that guy/girl, then you won’t regret having her in your life.
Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable
Many of us live with the terror of being vulnerable. Since childhood men are told to hide tears while women are told to be perfect. The problem is that since childhood we are learning that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness, however it the opposite. It actually makes you strong as now you are free to express that you feel. The day you overcome fear of being vulnerable, you will overcome fear of love and life life happily. Now, you don’t have to listen to your inner voice which stops you being yourself and do things which makes you happy.
Accept what you feel
It is completely true that loves makes us feel alive and a lot happier in life. It gives the confidence and strength to deal with bad phases of life, but it also can make you sensitive to pain. If you love the guy/girl then go for it because falling in love again can make you remind of your past, but soon it will help you overcome the fear of pain in relationships.
We don’t have the access in our system to control the way we feel for something or someone. The time when you are trying to avoid pain is when you are minimizing the possibility of happiness, joy and love in your life. Blocking emotions whether it is love, pain or fear is one of the things which makes us weak from inside. So, to overcome this fear you need to express what you feel and this will bring back happiness to your life.
Stop listening to your inner critic
Your inner voice is the one which fills your mind with statements that has made you developed this love phobia. Try to avoid such distractions else it will really hurt you in future. These inner voices are the ones which is stopping you from loving someone and also for your lower confidence. You see a guy/girl, but your inner voice says not to because he/she may reject you or you are poor, fat and ugly.
This inner critic will prevent you from enjoying your life to the fullest. It will stop you from approaching the girl you like. Once you stop listening to such voices, you will see that now you seem less nervous in any situation. It will help you discover your true self and have a loving partner in your life.
More Tips to over fear of falling in love
- Remember past experiences. Sometimes you follow a pattern of the people you are looking for, and it may not be healthy for you. Again a “bad boy”, who will hurt you or a girl who just wants money to pay her bills. If this is the pattern you are following then definitely you are on the wrong track. Look for someone who might love you and not one who just wants to have fun with you. Once you find the right person there will be no fear of falling in love with him/her.
- Wait and watch. Sometimes what you perceive of someone is a false image, not their true being. Wait until he/she shows the thread (everybody has some) and ask yourself if it would have been worth it. Sometimes life has its own ideas, and they seldom agree with your plans.
- Spend more time with loved ones. Your friends and family provide support and are important pillars in people’s lives. Sometimes falling in love can leave you at least for a while to these bonds. By the way, they can give you good advice.
- Face your fear. No, do not go and confess yourself right now. This can be a very good opportunity to improve yourself. Is it because of fear of compromise? To lose your individuality? To get hurt? Start there and work on it.
What not to do
Attack him/her (if he/she has no partner). Maybe the guy/girl does not know that you’re afraid of falling in love with him or her, so it’s not their fault. Yes, I know, it hurts, but hurting that person because of the fear of falling in love with her will only lead to bad port. If you like to harass other people then it is a bad sign. If you do not like it then there are better ways to keep the guy/girl from talking to you.
Seek professional help
Shut it up. Check with someone you trust or seek professional help. You may be missing out on things that are obvious to others, and telling someone else will make the load less heavy. Many people do not consider consulting a professional which is a big mistake. They have experience and know how to help you deal with this situation and eventually overcome fear of falling in love with someone.
Following these tips and tricks will help you get rid of love phobia, plus it will also help you become the real you. It will help you clear the forces which brings doubts to your mind about love and relationship. See I know that the guy/girl you are in love with can also be like the previous one, but now will have the ability to face things.
Now, you won’t be scared being in relationship with other guy/girl that comes in your life. Start to change yourself from inside and stop listening to voices which brings down your confidence levels. Just feel and live your life on your terms and this will never shut the doors of happiness in your life.